Monthly Archives: March 2012

So Much For That New Job…

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
‘Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very
Mad World

~ Mad World by Tears for Fears ~

 

So much for the temporary job. I flipped out. Literally. Stress level through the roof. *sigh*

 

I called and cancelled the temp job and I felt a little better, but the sleep helped most of all. I’m still battling a huge migraine though. I don’t think running the dryer and making it hot and humid upstairs where I was laying/sitting really helped in that regard though.

 

So right now I am just listening to music and waiting for hubby to get home from school. He called and he’s on his way. Apparently both of us are feeling sick our stomachs. *another sigh* I hope it’s just something we ate and we’re not getting sick.

 

I didn’t get any homework completed today but I got research done for an assignment done. I will write up the assignment tomorrow and be done with it, leaving only one assignment for the week and I have to watch the movie Kingdom of Heaven to complete it. Not bad, considering it’s only Thursday.

 

But I really need to lay down and get this headache to go away so that I can get things done tomorrow or else I am going to be completely useless, just like I was today.

 

Something I Am Proud Of: Getting the research done for my assignment.

 

Three Things I’m Thankful For:

  • Calming music *love Dido*
  • Facebook
  • My husband

I Have A New Job!

I have a job!

 

Okay, so let me back up since I haven’t written in, like, over a week.

 

I got a call last Wednesday asking me if I could interview for a job at the hospital the next day over the phone. I agreed, and I did. It wasn’t for the job I originally applied for, it’s for a per diem (flexible shift) spot in the Emergency Department, but I’m okay with that. They wanted me to come in on Monday for an in-person interview and I did. I think it went really well! They said that I would hear something in a couple of weeks on that job.

 

Then! When I got home from interviewing for that job, I got a call from the temp agency about interviewing the next day for a temp job at a tax firm. I went in and interviewed. It went really well. And I got a call later that afternoon from the temp agency asking me if I could start this Thursday (tomorrow)! The temp job only lasts until April 17th, since that’s when they are busy with taxes and whatnot, and that might just line up perfectly with when the hospital might call me back about the job there.

 

I wasn’t really excited about getting a job at first but I really am now. I think getting out of the house regularly will be good for me and I will be able to help contribute to the finances, which will be nice. I will feel useful. I just have to be able to stay up to date with all of my homework so I don’t get behind.

 

Speaking of my homework though, I got 100% on every assignment for last week in class and I’m really excited about it. I brought my grade up from an F after the first week to a B after week 3. I bet I can get an A in this class if I really try. That will help bring up my GPA after getting a D+ in my religion class last term. I could really use that.

 

Oh, and I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, as well. I seem to be a little low but not bad. I’m staying stable there and not jumping all over the place, which is nice for a change, even though I wish I felt normal and stable instead of low and stable, but it’s the nature of the beast, I guess. But he’s leaving my meds the way they are, which is nice. And I may need to call my neurologist about how tired my headache preventative medication is making me. But that’s about it going on there.

 

Overall, things are going well. And I’m happy to be able to report that. 🙂

 

Something I’m Proud Of: Getting my homework done that was due today.

 

Three Things I Am Grateful For:

  • My laptop
  • My new temp job
  • My doggies keeping me warm in bed right now *grin*

The Dentist, Walking & Homework

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you’re mine, I walk the line
I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I’ll admit that I’m a fool for you
Because you’re mine, I walk the line

~ I Walk the Line by Johnny Cash ~

So today was a good day even though I hardly slept at all last night. I think I hardly slept because I didn’t take all my meds last night, but I didn’t take all of them because I didn’t want to get sick by taking them after drinking alcohol. Now don’t get me wrong, that is definitely not something I do often. Actually, it’s probably been a couple of years since I’ve drank more than just a little casual drink. But I think not taking my meds had something to do with not sleeping. I’m sure I’ll be back to my regular sleeping patterns tonight when I take my meds.

Today, the hubby had a teeth cleaning. That went well. Then I had a dentist appointment. That was the first time visiting this new dentist and it was just a comprehensive exam and x-rays. I need to go back once for a couple of fillings on the lower left side (that I already knew about), once to replace a filling that is decaying, and then for a cleaning. All of this will happen in June and July. I have a little bit of gum recession on my two front bottom teeth though and it’s going to be hard fighting that since it’s genetic, but overall my gums and teeth look good.

Then the hubby and I took the smaller of the two dogs, Sparky, for a walk about town this evening. It was nice to get out of the house and spend some time in the nice weather. I can’t believe we beat the old record high by 16 degrees. Wow! And this is only March. I can’t believe what this summer is going to be like if this is March.

Oh, and I got my discussion question for the beginning part of the week posted for my Humanities class. It wasn’t due until Wednesday but I had already read the chapter today and the question was really easy (at least compared the past two) so I wanted to get it done and out of the way. I can’t wait until my grades from the work I did last week are posted so I can see how I did.

One last thing… There’s a dog treat on the market that is doing some really bad things to some dogs, even killing some. The manufacturers aren’t taking them off of the market because they are saying there isn’t enough proof to say it’s the treats causing it, but it’s evident by the number of complaints that this is an issue with these dog treats. Please, if you own dogs or if you know someone who does, make sure you or they don’t purchase the dog treats mentioned in this article, and share this article with your friends in case they know someone who is using these dog treats!

Something I’m Proud Of: Getting my Wednesday homework done two days early!

Three Things I’m Grateful For:

  • Good Walking Weather
  • No Headache Today
  • Strong Teeth

Sleep Helps – It Really Helps

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
(Bung, bung, bung, bung)
Make him the cutest that I’ve ever seen
(Bung, bung, bung, bung)
Give him two lips like roses and clover
(Bung, bung, bung, bung)
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over

~ Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes ~

 

The professor in the class I’m taking right now is getting on my nerves and the 8-week class has only been in session for a little over a week. The instructions for the class state that the discussion needs to be posted by Wednesday and all other items (like the weekly short paper and blog post) are due on Sunday each week. For the first week, there were two discussion forums open: the introduction forum and the one for the first week’s module. All but two people in the class thought that posting to the introduction forum by Wednesday was what the professor wanted and we ended up being late on our actual discussion for the other forum. Because of this, I got 26% on my first discussion for the term! I posted in the general discussion about this and it seems that most other people are upset about it, too. I hope that she changes the grades for this.

 

I did eh on my short paper, getting a 60% on that. It just wasn’t very in-depth. I’ll do better next time. And then I got an 85% on my blog. I only missed points on that one for not citing everything in APA format the way I was supposed to.

 

So my first week in the new term was mediocre. It definitely could’ve been better. I got the discussion forum posting that was due today written for week 2. I still have a lot of work to do for the end of the week but I will get more work done on it over the next few days.

 

The rest of my day was spent sleeping or relaxing. I think I really needed that since I was starting to get a headache after getting my homework done. Hubby got home from school after class and going to the grocery store around 9:30 so we had dinner late – salad and pizza. Now it’s time to chill in bed and watch TV for a bit before going to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully I can get a lot done.

 

Something I Am Proud Of: Getting my discussion posting in on time and doing a lot of research for it.

 

Three Things I Am Grateful For:

  • Sleep!
  • My puppies (I love my puppies)
  • My husband (He takes such good care of me)

So Much For Sleep

Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It’s out of my control
Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It’s hard to let you go

~ Waiting for the End by Linkin Park ~

 

So today wasn’t a good day. I can’t let myself call it a crappy day either, though. I needed to sleep in and the dogs just wouldn’t let me. There was always something to bark at (that needed to be barked at suddenly, with no warning whatsoever) or it was playtime in bed with Mommy and Daddy (even though Mommy and Daddy were sleeping). The more I tried to sleep, the more my head hurt and the more tired I was. I should’ve just gotten up and done something productive instead of trying to sleep. But I really wanted to sleep! *whimpers*

 

I finally got out of bed at about 2pm. Hubby had a dentist appointment at 3:15. It was just his initial visit to check over his teeth to see what they needed and whatnot. He gets a cleaning next week and later in May he gets an old filling replaced since it had chipped and something got in there. Gross. But necessary work. I finally talked to them about rescheduling my own appointment that inconveniently got cancelled due to no water to the facility and now they can’t get me in until June. Wonderful. So I’m on a cancellation list.

 

I can feel myself getting more tired and more irritable as I write this. I should probably just wrap up and go lay down in bed to relax. Maybe take my migraine meds? That would probably be a good idea. But hubby is in bed doing homework. (Don’t ask me why he does homework ONLY in bed, we’ve had this discussion before). *sigh* Couch it is, then.

 

Something I’m Proud Of: Crocheting 2 rows on my sister’s boyfriend’s afghan after months of not working on it.

 

Three Things I’m Grateful For:

  • My two dogs (even though they aggravate me sometimes)
  • My husband (even though he does homework where I sleep)
  • My head (even though it hurts a lot)

A Little Homesick But A Good Day Nonetheless

“Who doesn’t know what I’m talking about
Who’s never left home, who’s never struck out
To find a dream and a life of their own
A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone
Many precede and many will follow
A young girl’s dream no longer hollow
It takes the shape of a place out west
But what it holds for her, she hasn’t yet guessed”

~ Wide Open Spaces by The Dixie Chicks ~

So, my second post in my new blog. 🙂 The song today is posted because I miss that place out West, the place I call my hometown and the place where my family still is. I miss those wide open spaces out in the middle of the desert by the lake, too; I especially miss it at night in the dark when you can feel alone with your thoughts (well, and with the glow from Vegas off in the distance).

Things have been going well. Well, sort of.

Yesterday, I went back to bed after waking up at about 1pm. I slept another 4 hours. I’m not really sure why I needed more sleep. I didn’t have a migraine, which is usually what requires me to take naps that long so soon after waking up. I felt fine actually. I felt even better after taking a nap though so I must’ve needed it.

Today has been a good day though. I got my homework finished for the week with a whole day to spare before the new school week starts on Monday. I did a 2 mile walk with one of my workout at home DVD’s. And I’ve gotten myself organized to start working on a fiction project that I’m eager about.

This is the first really good day in quite some time though, don’t get me wrong. I’m not sure what’s motivating me, but I really like it and I wish it would stick around. I know it won’t though. (Bad me – *slaps hand* – that’s being negative). I guess I just need to keep up with the things I enjoy doing when I’m energetic and hope I keep energized to do them. 🙂

Something I’m Proud Of: Two things! I’m proud of getting all my homework done and taking the initiative to put in a workout DVD today.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:

  • Ice Water
  • My Friend, Brooke
  • The Illustrated Guide to Buddhism Book (from the library)

A Bit About Me

I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand
not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand
Life is good today, life is good today

~ Toes by Zac Brown Band ~

 

Hello, and welcome to my blog! My name is Krysha and I happen to be Bipolar. This blog is a place for me to write about my progresses and pitfalls as I travel the roads of life having Bipolar Disorder I. Soon, I will have details about Bipolar I, Bipolar II, and Cyclothymic Disorder posted on the Bipolar Disorder page soon so that you can learn more about all of them. Anyway, more about me…

 

I am 25, but I’ll be 26 in about a month. I’ve been diagnosed with Bipolar since I was 21 but I’ve been experiencing the ups and downs of it since I was about 16. During the last 5 years that I’ve been diagnosed with Bipolar, I have moved all over the country, living in Reno and Las Vegas in Nevada and even in Maryland, California, and Arizona. I currently live in Vermont with my husband and our two dogs. We’ve been settled here for a few years and we’ll be here for a few years yet for quite a few reasons.

 

The first of those reasons is that we’re both students. Even though I attend online, I still need stability, and my husband needs to stay close to his school. He’ll be in college for another couple of years yet. Then we’ll see where life takes us! I have been attending college for the last 7-8 years now, and I am just now to the half-way point of a Bachelor’s Degree. It’s taking some time, but I’m not giving up. I am getting a degree in Communications with an emphasis in Professional Writing.

 

That brings me to my career. I am a freelance writer. I work online, from home. I do take breaks occasionally when I feel I need to for my Bipolar health, or when my Bipolar starts to affect my physical health. My biggest support with my Bipolar is my husband. It’s not easy being the spouse of a Bipolar, or at least I assume it’s not as I can only imagine what I put mine through, but he puts up with me and he stands by me when I need someone to help me find my way back to ‘normal.’

 

In every blog, I will start off with lyrics that help me express how I am feeling, give the kind of mood I am feeling, or are just stuck in my head (the lyrics for this blog happen to be from the song that I have as my ringtone on my phone and I would LOVE to be at the beach with my toes in the water and my ass in the sand!) I will also end each blog with something I am proud of for doing, as well as a list of three things I am grateful for. This will help to keep me on a positive path, thinking good thoughts.

 

Anyway, I hope this helps you understand a bit more about me. Most of this will be copied into the About Me page at some point. I will post on a regular basis about me and my life, whether I’m up or down on the swings and seesaws of life. 🙂

 

Something I’m Proud Of: I got 30 pages of reading done for school.

 

Three Things I’m Grateful For:

  • My Husband
  • My New Reading Glasses (Less Headaches!)
  • Scooby Doo Cartoons